strangers one

Sarah

I woke in the middle of night again. Same dream. Same bad dream. I managed to sleep after ten if I remembered and here I come, waking up again. The clocks showing, its five o’clock.  I get up from the bed and heading to the washroom.

“She kills him.” Image of mother stabbing father still remained in my eyes. Those eyes got teary in seconds, and I end up sobbing in the bathroom again until Rasha knocking the door and asking me to hurry because she got some emergency. I try to cover my reddening eyes, putting a towel on my head and heading for the toilet door.

“Sorry that I’m taking long. Stomached got me in trouble.” She rushes to come into and immediately, the door is closing again.

A lain blue shirt matched with black jeans. Simplicity is my code dress style. I do not need mirror, I know myself.  I do not need a wardrobe full of dresses, blouses and gown to make me happy. I just need some simple humanly clothing to make me a human being.

“Oh no.” Rasha which just come out of her room shout loudly so I’m giving her ‘why’ face.’

“Not another plain shirt Hani. You got to buy some ladies blouse or some nice skirts or….” I cut her line before she continue with her morning blabbering.

“Not again. I have told you. I’m comfortable with these.”  Rasha is wearing her long blue dress printed with some butterflies on it. Her white shawl that covers her head made her looks like some ice princess.

“I’m not like you.” I said it from deep of my heart, we are different Rasha. You don’t wish to know the real me.

“You say something like that again, I kick you out.” I laugh at her words. She laughs too. She has been saying these same things for two years, but she never kicks me out of this house which is hers.  Deep inside, I do afraid she kicks me out, where do I find someone like her again in my life.

“I’m in my boutique all day. If you don’t feel like doing errands again, come and helps me. I always want you as my helper.” She always sweet you know, since the first day we meet. I was working part time in her boutique at that time. She offers me many things until now and I’m afraid she will be tired of keeps offering things to me because I have nothing to offer to her. Life is like that. I’m attached again. Then, the thrills in mine are out. The insecurity showers my body.

“Thanks but no, you helped me a way too much Rasha.” And I do not even think I can pay you back for that. I smile at her like I did another day, it just make my day.

“Ash goes to café, you send this to another floors.” They are the days I wish I could just go to cafes and never run into people in the building. Some people smile in my way when I hand in the documents I brought to them; some people just keep making faces.  I feel at ease when I’m at the café. I feels belong there, just because I can rest for a few minutes. It may sounds weird, but that how I feel these days.

“And don’t forget to come to photocopy this and this and this and send it to this people.”  A list again. A bunch of people that I need to deal with.

When I finished my first task of the day, I head back to our office ‘boys’ place. I grab the list and a hand is stopping me from moving. A hand that holding my shirt’s collar.

“Shit.” I nearly fall out of balance. Who is that culprit behind me? And as I turned around, there is a tall guy called Ash.

“You go to pay for that someday. What?” 

“Mocha.” He hands me a cup of iced coffee which is my favorite.

“Thanks to this. I’m forgiving you.”

“Not my treat.”

“So, I’m not forgiving you.” I went back to the photocopy place in the building and starting the rest of works. The cup of coffee that stays with me with questions pop out. If not Ash treat, is it Mar. I’m going to say my thanks to her later. Bunch of paper to be photocopied and I stand there pushing some buttons and waiting for the machine to throw up some good papers that I need to handle.

“Thanks.” My watch showed that it pass four already and it is the first thank you word I heard from people I help today. Maybe I’m just a mere human in their eyes. I walk to the office and bump into some boxes.

“You, office girl. Help me with this,” said Mr. Andy. My body as usual reflects to the instruction, trying to lift the box, but you know what my power cannot afford it. I just cannot do this.

“Let me help you.” Ash you my savior just come towards us. Mr. Andy is gone. There are two of us standing in the corner, with boxes to be lifted.

“I will try to lift the small ones.” Hah maybe I need start to grow some muscles so I can do more work.

“Don’t bother yourself. Go get some rest, you have been running for hours.” Yeah, I have been running throughout the building for more than twenty times already but I still can do this. I’m Sarah Hani okay, a strong girl.

“Nope, I got to help you with this. I’m not forgiving you what you’ve done this morning.”

“You sure a tough girl Sarah.”

“Of course.”

My shoulders hurt a lot since I have been trying too hard to lift the boxes today.  Rasha helps me putting an oilment to less the hurts.

“You got some muscles there lady,” she mutters as she eating the fried rice I made for us for dinner.

“Oh no.” We laughed again. I don’t know this, I’m somehow feel we are connected in a special way, more than blood connection does.

The sounds of Azan make Rasha move from the couch, while I still watching the news. Craps news, the world is in trouble.

“You know that, you are always welcome to join me for solat,” Rasha said with a smile. Hah she sure a tough girl inside, trying to help me in her ways. She has been saying that words since day one I stay with her, but here I am still on the couch as always. I don’t believe in that kind of thing anymore. I don’t after all those things happened in my life and I can’t tell Rasha about the old me. 

I used to pray like her too, but I got nothing but my so good mom killing my own father, then killed herself without trying to tell me what is going on the world. That’s why I left home, if you ask me. In precise words, they left me alone. As I was a nineteen years old girl at that time, no one cares. Everybody thoughts I was a grown up, that I can manage myself. The truth is the little girl in me still needs to be comforting, and there comes Rasha in my life.  A sister which much like a mother to me, nagging me from morning to night. Waking me up as I sleep like I would not wake up forever.

I can hear her voice reading some weird’s words which I’m not familiar but her voice sounds beautiful to me.

“Rasha did you just read some alien’s words just now. I mean in your room?” I’ve been dying to ask her that all this time, the words sounds familiar but I don’t remember anything from it.

“It’s God words. Trust me, you going to fall for it once you read it.” She hands me a books titled ‘Holy Quran’.

“God wrote a book?” I ask like a child would ask with my curious face.

“Al-Quran.” Deep inside, I do know what it means, I know I have held that book before, and I have been reading it before. But the memories that come down with it hurt. An image of a little girl reading that with a lady. The little struggles to learn and the lady are guiding her. Bump! I don’t want to remember any of it.

“Teach me.” Once I said that I can see tears falling from Rasha eyes. I don’t know what it means, I hope it means happiness.

“I will. I will. We will learn it together from now.” Rasha come to me and hug me so tight that I might die of suffocation.

“I’m out of breath,” I said jokingly to her.

“Sorry dear.” She cries again tonight and I know I’m the reason of the tears.